What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I lost the right to judge tonight
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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