Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
