and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
