I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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