'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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