so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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