STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just tell him i said nine months
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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