my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
