My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize