take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sext me about skeletons
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
