I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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