STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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