Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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