So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
