Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
