margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
