does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
