big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
