If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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