ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
