It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
