why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
