dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
