my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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