doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
