Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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