One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Randomize
