i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
