I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
