We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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