Sponge bath it is.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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