oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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