how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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