So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
