this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
