I am spending my child support on dildos
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
