I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
