I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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