Sponge bath it is.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
