it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize