Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
