And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
