eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
