Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
