ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
