I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
