Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
