My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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