WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
