Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
