yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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