I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
