Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
