I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
