The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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