I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
