forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
