Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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