We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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