after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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