i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
