i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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