what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
