I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
