omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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