i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
