Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he thought i was a dude.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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